is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
