we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
