You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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