My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
