Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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