so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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