I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
