they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
