who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
