Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.

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(161): View more from

that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.

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(786): View more from Florida

She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick

(305): View more from Florida

I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk

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(757): View more from Virginia

You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"

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