David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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