I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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