her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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