I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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