I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
