u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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