i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
