new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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