in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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