All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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