The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
