Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
