hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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