I don't think brook has ever known best
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
