Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
