Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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