they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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