East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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