Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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