kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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