Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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