I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
