So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
