It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
