he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
