Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
