i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
