pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
