Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
