Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
