I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we're making bets on your personal life
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
