Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
