what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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