How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
