My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
