I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
