how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
