I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
