that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
