THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
