I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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